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Some women decide they must leave the abusive relationship.
It is important to be aware that women who try to leave a
violent relationship are among those most at risk of being
further abused or killed by a batterer.
Plan
your departure carefully to ensure your safety. Take action
to prevent harm to yourself and your children. Even if you
cannot take the things you have gathered, you should leave
if you can do so safely. Your safety comes first.
If you decide to leave, follow these guidelines:
- Pack
suitcases for yourself and your children. Put them where
you can get them easily and your abuser will not find them.
- Collect
– and have ready to take with you – important
papers, documents or personal items: Birth certificates,
marriage license, checking and savings accounts, driver's
license, car title, social security numbers, credit cards,
rent and utility receipts, school and health records, medications,
insurance policies and phone numbers.
- Begin
a secret emergency fund. Open a bank account or establish
credit in your name only.
- Obtain
extra keys for your house, car, safety deposit box, storage
facility, etc.
- Decide
whom you will ask for help. Choose those who believe you
and believe in you, and tell them about your situation.
- Select
a safe place you can go: A shelter, home of a family member
or friend, police station, motel, etc.
- Plan
how you will get to safety: By car, neighbor, police, shelter
volunteer, cab.
- Call
the police if violence erupts. Develop a plan in case you
cannot call: Teach your children to call or go to a neighbor's
house, establish a code to use with family or friends, and
notify neighbors to be on alert for sounds that might indicate
violence taking place in your home and to call police if
they hear anything suspicious.
- If
you are injured by your batterer, get medical attention
immediately. Be honest with your physician about what happened;
medical proof may be important to have later.
Note:
This is general information. Your situation may require that
other actions be taken specific to your needs.
Source:
National Center for Victims of Crime
This
page was last updated on 04/23/2001
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